Finding the Way (The Amish Millers Get Married Book 5) Read online

  Finding the Way

  (The Amish Millers Get Married Book 5)

  Ruth Hartzler

  Copyright © 2015 Ruth Hartzler

  All Rights Reserved.

  Smashwords Edition.

  Smashwords License Notes.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should purchase your own copy from your favorite ebook retailer. Thank you for respecting the author’s hard work.

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  Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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  Romans 8:14-19.

  For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

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  Ephesians 1:1-23.

  Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints who are in Ephesus, and are faithful in Christ Jesus: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.

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  Romans 8:1-39.

  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

  Table of Contents.

  Chapter 1.

  Chapter 2.

  Chapter 3.

  Chapter 4.

  Chapter 5.

  Chapter 6.

  Chapter 7.

  Chapter 8.

  Chapter 9.

  Chapter 10.

  Chapter 11.

  Chapter 12.

  Chapter 13.

  Chapter 14.

  Chapter 15.

  Chapter 16.

  Chapter 17.

  Chapter 18.

  Chapter 19.

  Chapter 20.

  Connect with Ruth Hartzler.

  Next Book in this Series.

  Other books by Ruth Hartzler.

  About Ruth Hartzler.

  Galatians 4:4-5.

  But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

  Chapter 1

  Sarah Beachy bent through the reeds, staring at her reflection in the pond near the Millers’ haus. Not that the pond showed an accurate depiction of her face, for the wafting breeze caused gentle ripples to form on the water’s surface. Three happy ducklings splashed around, sending a water strider spider scuttling and distorting her reflection even further. The breeze grew in momentum, whipping her long, blonde hair out from under her prayer kapp and swirling it around her face.

  Sarah sat back and smiled. She had found peace in Lancaster, with its rolling hills and green pastures, far away from her recent times of turmoil and strife. There were serious questions as yet unanswered, but for today, she was happy to spend time alone and enjoy the beauty of Gott’s creation.

  Sarah watched some bluebirds on a far branch, idly thinking she was glad that her somewhat overweight, ginger cat, Tom, was not interested in catching birds. He’s too lazy to catch anything, she thought with a smile. The bluebirds were the same colors as the Spinning Star quilt Sarah was currently working on for Mrs. Hostetler’s store. The quilt, like the bluebirds, featured vivid blue contrasting with the rich, earthy tones of brown. There are no better colors than the ones that Gott has designed, she thought.

  The small flock of bluebirds suddenly took to the skies, startling her. Sarah looked up to see what had put them to flight, wondering if it could be a fox, or even a horse grazing. She saw a figure advancing in the distance. It was not a fox, or a horse, but a mann, but not just any mann; even from a distance, Sarah could see that this mann was Benjamin Shetler.

  Sarah hurried to repin her hair under the kapp. The wind was blowing wildly now, in keeping with her emotions. She stood and faced Benjamin’s approach.

  As he came toward her, Sarah tried to tear her eyes away from him. Benjamin always made her heart thump wildly. Her gaze traveled over his arms bronzed from a lifetime of farm work, his broad shoulders, and mess of sandy colored hair poking out in all directions from under his straw hat. Benjamin had a commanding presence, even out here in the fields.

  Benjamin was beautiful, perhaps not so much on the outside, for, despite his youth, he had a rugged look imparted by years of working in the sun, but there was an inner beauty that radiated from him. He was kind, gentle, and caring, and was truly a man of Gott.

  Yet Sarah had to steel herself to deny the heart-wrenching attraction she felt for Benjamin, for she could not trust him; he had proven that, even though Sarah knew that he thought he was doing the right thing. Even more so, she had known him since they were children, but he had never asked her on a buggy ride. As Benjamin clearly did not want to court her, why hadn’t Gott taken away her feelings for him? Goodness knows she had asked Him to many a time. It hurt too much.

  Sarah’s mouth ran dry and she licked her lips nervously. She knew why Benjamin was seeking her out, and she was far from pleased. She had known this day would come.

  Ephesians 1:5-6.

  He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

  Chapter 2

  “I know why you’re here.” Sarah was dismayed that her voice sounded so harsh and accusatory, but she had no idea how to handle this situation.

  Benjamin appeared to be taken aback. “I’m not sure you do,” he said slowly.

  Sarah looked away from his big, brown eyes and stared at the trees on the other side of the pond. “You’re here to try to take me back home.” Her slow, measured tone gave no hint of the strong emotions that were coursing through her.

  Benjamin hesitated, and Sarah hoped he would deny it. She held her breath, but his answer cras
hed her hopes. “That’s part of it,” he said, avoiding her eyes.

  “I know he’s sent you to bring me back,” she snapped. “I won’t go back.”

  “Your father,” Benjamin began, but Sarah cut him short.

  “He’s not my father,” she spat.

  For the second time in as many minutes, Benjamin’s mouth opened in surprise. “Sarah, isn’t that a bit harsh?” he began. “I do realize he is a stern mann, but he is your vadder after all.”

  So he doesn’t know, Sarah thought.

  A gust of wind chose that moment to blow off Sarah’s prayer kapp. She clutched at it wildly, and nearly overbalanced into the pond. Benjamin seized her and pulled her back to safety, but that caused her to be pulled hard against his muscular chest. Benjamin’s strong arms around her waist sent butterflies through Sarah’s stomach and caused her heart to beat so loudly, that she was afraid Benjamin would hear it. Yet she made no attempt to leave the safety of his arms, and he held her to him far longer than was necessary. Maybe there is hope after all, she thought.

  After what seemed an age, Sarah detached herself. She turned her back to Benjamin while she pinned her prayer kapp, more firmly this time.

  The long silence hung heavy and uneasy between them. The tension grew thick. Finally, Sarah could stand it no longer. “He’s not my vadder,” she repeated, and before Benjamin could protest again, she added, “He is not my biological father.”

  Benjamin did not speak, so Sarah turned around to look at him. He looks truly surprised, she thought, so he must not have known.

  “Shall we walk, and you can tell me all about it?”

  Sarah nodded, thankful for Benjamin’s kind and understanding manner, and walked quietly beside him along the dirt road which ran by the pond in the general direction of the B&B. The clip clop of a horse’s hooves bore down behind them fast, so they both waited to greet the driver.

  The big, black horse was pulled to an abrupt stop beside them, and Jessie Yoder looked down at them. “You two look cozy,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. The horse arched his neck and pawed the ground, eager to be on his way.

  “Hiya Jessie,” Sarah said in her most polite voice.

  “Sorry, no time for idle chit-chat! I’m late for work.” Jessie slapped the horse hard with the reins and he took off fast toward the B&B.

  “Not the most polite girl I’ve ever met,” Benjamin said, although Sarah detected amusement in his voice. “Although Mrs. Flickinger says she works just as hard at the B&B as Rebecca did, before Rebecca left when she married Elijah. Still, Jessie doesn’t appear to be your typical Amish maidel.”

  Sarah shook her head. “Nee. She gave Esther a hard time. In fact, she kept Esther and Jacob apart for a while.”

  “Oh well, they’re together now; that’s all that counts.”

  “Jah.” Sarah was embarrassed for gossiping, and was worried that Benjamin would think less of her. Yet what did Benjamin actually think of her at all? She had no idea.

  Benjamin stopped to pick a blue violet growing alongside other wildflowers by the dirt road, and handed it to Sarah.

  She took it, looking up at Benjamin, wondering what this gesture meant, and indeed, if it meant anything at all.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Benjamin said, breaking the moment.

  “Nee, it’s okay. As you know, Mamm died.” Benjamin nodded and Sarah continued. “And after the funeral, my daed”—she hesitated using the word—”told me that Mamm had been married before.”

  Benjamin gasped and came to a stop, but Sarah kept walking. “He told me that my real father had died when I was three months old, and Mamm had remarried that same year. Well, she married him, of course, my daed, I mean.” Sarah now came to a stop, and waved her hands in agitation. “This is confusing to try to explain.”

  “Nee, I understand,” Benjamin said. “Your daed and your mudder had you, and then your daed passed away, and your mudder remarried Samuel Beachy, the mann who you’ve always thought was your daed.”

  Sarah nodded and twirled the pretty, blue flower around between her fingers. “It was such a shock to me, right after Mamm dying, and then finding out that he was not my biological father. Such a shock,” she repeated.

  Benjamin shrugged. “Is that why you left, so suddenly?”

  Sarah stomped her foot. “Jah! They both lied to me all these years. Why wouldn’t they tell me the truth? I don’t even know the name of my real vadder.”

  Galatians 2:20.

  I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

  Chapter 3

  Nash Grayson, or Eli Flickinger as his parents still called him as it was his birth name, was fascinated by the person of Jessie Yoder. At first he thought she was a humble Amish girl, but that idea was rudely squashed when she first opened her mouth and ordered him in no uncertain terms to get out of the way when she was vacuuming.

  Most afternoons, Nash made his way down to the ruins of an old, stone cottage which sat on the slope below the B&B. He liked to sit and ponder his next money making scheme. He still owed a considerable sum to book makers from gambling on racehorses, and his ungrateful, selfish parents still refused to pay his gambling debts; he had no idea why.

  Every day, Nash smelled the lingering smell of smoke, and occasionally found cigarette butts. At first he thought it was the Englischer guests, but there had not been any Englischer guests for two days and he had found a fresh cigarette butt only that day. He doubted it was the do-gooder Benjamin Shetler, so the one suspect who remained was Jessie Yoder.

  Nash decided to catch her in the act the following day, and all he had to do was change his routine and get up early. And so, that lovely spring morning, he hid behind the stone walls and waited for the cigarette smoker to come.

  He did not have to wait long. Nash’s stomach tensed with excitement as he heard stones crunch underneath boots. He waited until the sound stopped, and then leaped out to confront the cigarette smoker.

  “Gotcha!” he yelled, waving his arms in the air. Jessie Yoder, just as I thought.

  She looked startled, but then took the cigarette from her lips and blew a long stream of smoke in his direction. “What are you going to do about it?” she said slowly.

  Nash was shocked. He expected her to look guilty, or at least worried, but she did not, and what’s more, her tone was bordering on rude. He had to admire the way she brazened it out. “I’ll tell someone,” he said.

  Jessie laughed. “Who are they going to believe, you, or me?” She waved her hand up and down in his direction, gesturing to his clothes and tattoos.

  Nash had not expected that reaction. “Well, um, smoking is the wrong thing to do.”

  Jessie took another drag. “What’s it to you?” she said rudely. “It’s none of your business.”

  Nash was quite put out. He had been expecting the culprit would be guilty when caught. For the first time in his life, he was speechless.

  Jessie had not finished with him. “You’re an Englischer now, right?”

  Nash nodded, wondering where she was going with this.

  “So you have mirrors, right?”

  Nash nodded again.

  “Go have a look in the mirror. If you don’t see the bishop looking back at you, that means you’re not the bishop. So if you’re not the bishop, and you’re not my vadder, you can’t tell me what to do. Mind your own business.” With that, Jessie flicked her cigarette butt at his feet, and then walked off.

  Nash was crestfallen. He had been bested by a girl, and an Amish girl at that. She’s attractive for an Amish girl, though, he thought.

  After a time of contemplation over how everyone was mean to him for no good reason, Nash made his way back to the B&B for some coffee and whoopie pies. Getting up so early this morning had made him hungry. If he sneaked into the kitchen, he should be
able to score some food, if that greedy Benjamin Shetler hadn’t eaten it all. Jessie was pinning washing on the line, so he wouldn’t run into her again.

  Nash crept along the corridor, inhaling the scent of freshly brewed kaffi, but the sound of his parents whispering in the kitchen pulled him up in his tracks. He tiptoed to the closed door and put his ear against it.

  “It was the bishop’s wife, Fannie Graber, who let it slip,” his mudder said. “It made me wonder if Sarah Beachy is, in fact, the adopted dochder of Samuel Beachy, who left our community to marry a widow with a boppli.”

  “That would be a bit of a coincidence though,” his daed said, “for Sarah Beachy to meet Martha Miller in jail of all places, and then even end up staying with the Millers.”

  “Perhaps it was Gott’s plan,” his mudder said. “Not a coincidence at all.”

  Nash was unable to hear anything else as his parents lowered their voices even more, so he decided on the bold approach. He opened the door and marched straight in. “No need to stop talking when I come in,” he said, noting that his parents exchanged guilty looks. “What were you talking about?”

  “Nothing,” they both said, and both left the room in a hurry.

  Nash shrugged. Thank goodness they’ve gone, he thought. I won’t get into trouble for eating all the food. He decided to make coffee and eat some sandwiches. If only I were in the city, I could go to a café and get a proper coffee, not this strong, bitter stuff. Still, it’s free, he thought, spooning several spoons of sugar into his mug. His stoneware coffee mug was white, with a black horse and buggy and a black windmill. “How quaint,” he said aloud, with as much sarcasm as he could muster. “I’ve got to get out of this dump of a place as soon as I can.”

  Yet, a small, niggling thought ate away at Nash. If I leave here, I’ll be leaving Jessie. Nash shook his head to try to dismiss the thought from his mind.